Unsolved History, The Origins of Confusion

Call me out on something, Anything
Tell me when you think I am wrong
Have an opinion
On the nature of everything, Anything
Imploring to the facts within your own reasons

Don’t use my words for fuel
Or let them fester inside
Stop the madness
The negativity
The overbearing calculations
Which is swallowed by a deeply downed corrosion
Of a well oiled high toned adrenaline machine
On the steel horse of a self righteous oblige

I know that you know
That I know, That you know
That I hate conflicts
As it stabs my heart
Burns it to oblivion
As it all gets put into a piñata
Full of razor blade anxiety
Being nailed over and over again

But I tell you what
It feels much better
Than being left out in the cold
Under sub zero temperatures of emptiness
As this lonely heart
Becomes the core of a quiet neglection
Rejecting pile of silent sewer plant treatments
Bowery farms conflicted of mooring woes

Hey, I am not a monster
Nor a docile Ghost
Just a human being humanly human
Yet, Sometimes I really wonder
If I am even from here

I cannot stand it when even I myself complain
But these feelings must come out somehow
Exercising these metaphoric demons
Of the green vomit
That spins this head to a splitting headache
Peeved of this possessed reality
That tries to create a creature of my own suped up enduring

Mutated to the core of my own reasons
Flawed to great imperfections
Using words gallantly in incoherent competence
As I set a standard
In the enigma that flows with impurity
In Pandora’s loving embrace

Look into these light sensitive eyes
As shy and hidden as they can be
Peer inside these dreams
And know the very origins
That compels me to a euphoric fantasy

I don’t want sympathy
Just want the respect I deservingly need
I might not be of this very world
But this world is not of me
As the world wants to be indifferent
We are the ones who hold
The many shapes of our own universal needs

My world, Your world
Is not necessarily Earth
But the personal planet of our dreams

Invade me with your alienation
Probe this mind of it’s resources
Abduct this very essence
The constellations of my own solar systematic freedom
That screams for sincere loyalty

So is that how you want it?
I am confused, I am confusion, I will not lose
Yet, I will submit when shown realism
Something I can grab, feel, Touch, Taste and breathe

Yet, Is this all just one big messed up dream?

So now I ask
What do you want from me?
There always seems to be some sort of catch

Why is society full of salespeople
Selling self centered agendas right from under their greedy sleeves?

Why are they so successful?

When you think I will go left
I shall go right
When you think I will go right
I shall go left
Holding the middle ground
Of what you think of me

It just so happens
That middle ground was a mirage
And I am of no direction
That has first, second or a third party
Behind it’s own traveling hypocrisy

And all I wanted to do was to get a reaction
Too bad it all had to come down to this




Written By,
James Darwin Smith II
5/11/11