My Shew Collection

If you were in my shoes
I’d say, Hey, Those are mine!
Get a pair of your own
I need to do a lot more walking!

Who am I?
Perhaps not who you think
Ask me the questions
The life interview questions
And find out
These answers are not of
What many would consider “ordinary”
So asker beware

Does that scare you?
Well perhaps that is where you fail
And here you though that
I was the only one being tested
Never was good at driving on
One way streets
Mainly those that say wrong way

Then again….
Never cared for driving anyhow
Highways, just too crowded
Byways are what keeps my dreams complete

Confused? Welcome to the club
Though my club is a metaphor
That smacks out reality
As your club is the kind
Where people try fitting in
Being facades even in their own minds

Was never good with crowds
Anti social, Mind was always full of thoughts
That either nailed me to my own cross of personal torture
Or set me free to travel anywhere I please
Oh, the power of mentality

But I do admit
I have a vivid imagination
Have done so much
When doing nothing at all

But I try
As I walk the many miles in these shoes
Finding the right path for enlightenment
Towards a life anew

Do I have a redundant style?
Sure hope not
What is the fun in that?
My shoes are not the fancy kind
Just ones that keep me on the move

Still confused?
Ponder on, Ponder on
These words were not meant to be technical
I consider them to be freed
But that is just me

Be yourself
That is who you should thrive to be
Walk far on your very own shoes
Thriving to walk beyond even your own limited feat



Written By,
James Darwin Smith II

My Friend Anxiety

Oh my friend anxiety
Loyalty to the enigmatic core
Putting so much into this relationship
Always being there, Doing everything
And doing even more

Through the pain, The fear, The sadness, The madness
You have been the gun lodged inside my mouth
You have been razor pressed upon my wrist
The strangulation that has hindered my breathing
The dead end that kept me from ever achieving
The ambitions that bled into sorrow’s gloating abasement

So much you have done
In this very life I live
Helped me miss many opportunities
Motivated me to shy away in my shadowed existence

Anxiety, The thoughts you put in this head
All of the doubt, All of the negative notions, All the hopelessness
How you Helped me give up any hope
As I gave my best, As you gave your worst

Oh the security of doubt
How safe you made me feel
Hidden from this very world
Muting the sounds I wanted to let out
Oh, How I thank you
With my burning heart of mistrust

I always loved
How you made me look in the mirror
In the utter disgust of what I was seeing
As if my face was scarred with your own disapproval
The reflection of what you could never accept
Always being blunt, Telling me how ugly I was
Thank you, Your charm always went such a long way
Confusion is such a beautiful thing

Oh, Anxiety
I always loved the way you made me complain
As you were always messing with my head
Making me care about such small trivial things
Oh, How dearly I am in your debt
How could I ever repay you?

Even inspired me to be over medicated
Making me once lazy and always tired
But I gave up on that
Yet, You still laughed
Because you knew you always had me at zero

Thank you for the walls
Thank you for helping me fear for my future
Giving such cold words
To an already frozen state of being

Anxiety, Someday you will go away for good
As you are no longer welcome here
Our relationship seemed always one sided
Quit stalking me, It’s time to move on

I never even wanted you
Just that you were always good at brainwashing
Controlling these thoughts that made me feel like a burden to the world

I have had enough of you
If you cannot leave me atleast treat me better
Or I will have to….. Kill you for good
I will still be alive in the hopes I go beyond
The memories of the things I let you do to me
To you I was so submissive, So submissive
And you always knew that was something
I was so dearly against

Anxiety, I would like to never see you again
Stay buried in the grave you tried sending down into
Goodbye friend, Enemy, Please go away for good

For you friend meant,
Fear regret indifference emptiness nothingness detachment

Anxiety, I can no longer live like that
Your existence was sickening
Taking me down into voids
I never want to see again

Go away anxiety, It’s time for me to live life like never before
Live it beyond even my own expectations

Yet, I know there is a giant foundation yet to be built
And I must build it with all my might
Giving everything I could ever give
Believing in every positive belief
Giving these dreams the heights
They have never flown before

But I shall make a promise to myself, A vow
That this very foundation will be built
And this anxiety will fade away
As it will never spread to anyone
Misery was the true existence
Of this anxiety, This metaphoric creature
That festered inside my very soul

Living life
I must live it as a whole



Written By,
James Darwin Smith II
8/9/11

Away Sick

Complacent, Too complacent
Have to move around
Hate being stuck here
Hate feeling down
Halting to a metaphoric ailment
In this empty town
Grey, Depressing
And full of leper dreams

I came back
Now I want to go away again

Far away, So far away
Where modest arms hold me
And where over exposed egos never exist

Am I one of the many who hear the same words?
Words spreading around like fictional forest fires
That non fiction becomes seduced by?

Is it real?
Then why not just to me?
I am always glad to share
But for this once I want to know
If there is any meaning to it

Confusion, Confusion
Life can be such an illusion
Choosing and choosing
The right words wisely
Does anyone realize I cannot lie?
But saying that perhaps someone thinks I just lied
Go figure

This is surely a ramble
And a rant induced by incoherent rhythm
Unbalancing act by the scales of time
In the rising twins of warp speeding thoughts
Where the air gasps for its own logical heir abundances

Why are the best things so far away?
I just want to fly away
But to where?
Is there really a home sweet home?

I sure hate complaining but at times things do need to come out

Perhaps I can cast this out for good?



Written By,
James Darwin Smith II
5/5/11